Going For Surgery

Vera is scheduled for a g-tube button and a fundoplication surgery next week. I’ve heard from other T18 moms that their kids were happier after getting a g-tube. I can imagine, no more something stuck in your nose and throat all the time, no more itchy plasters and face rash, no more tube insertion discomfort. So I was really keen to get her the button. That was a few months ago.

Now, the fact that the surgery is looming so near (it’s Next Week!), I’m getting that not-prepared-for-the-exams feeling. The fear has started to creep in. She has to be intubated as the surgery has to be done under GA. What this means simply is that she will be knocked out and a tube will be put down her throat to force air in to keep her breathing. There have been T18 babies who have had complications with extubation – meaning they fail to get back to breathing on their own after the tube has been taken out. Some have also had adverse reactions to morphine, a painkiller administered after the surgery.

Every time I look at Vera, smiling so blithely at me, I feel guilty, because I know there’s something painful in store for her, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s in for. And because there’s no way she’ll know, there’s no way she can be prepared for it.

I’m trying hard to focus on the positives. Vera will no longer have to scratch at the itchy patch on her face. She’ll look much better in pictures. People won’t stare at her and asked ‘What’s that green thing?’ We’re also getting her lateral cleft closed up at the same time. So when it’s healed, we’ll get to see a nice big perfect smile. Not that I’ve ever minded the way her mouth looks, you get used to it, but more to so that liquids won’t flow out so easily when we feed her.

Connie says it helps if you tell them what’s gonna happen before it happens. Like tell her her tummy is gonna hurt a little. So is her mouth. So is her throat. That it’ll be bright and cold. That she'll have needles poked into her. But she’s gonna be ok. She just has to be a good, strong girl and breathe, breathe hard once she’s extubated. And keep at it no matter what. So much to ask of a little girl.