21 June 2013

Hazardous Haze 2013

Indiscriminate burning in Indonesia threatens our health, our economy and our right to fresh air.

I've still not fully recovered, and the annual haze is upon us. You may remember previous posts about this and how it does no favours for kids with respiratory issues like Vera.

Bacterial filters turn black much faster.
Aircon filters are soot black.
I wonder what it looks like in our nostrils.

The PSI which for years has hovered around the 150 mark, has shot up to an unprecedented 321. In the 'hazardous' range. My eyes smart. My nose is blocked. The forest fires may be miles away, but it looks and smells like we're in the thick of one.

We are taking no chances with Vera.

She is staying strictly at home, 24/7.

Meanwhile, a few changes take place.

Our power bill sky-rockets.
Fans are on full-blast all day as we shut all our doors and windows.
Aircon usage is extended.
We bulk buy groceries to avoid multiple trips.
We stop visiting parks, beaches, one another.
We borrow tons of books from the library in a bid to entertain a fidgety home-bound three-year-old.
Most importantly, we don our masks.

I pre-empted the worsening of the haze and got a box of these for $24. Overnight, it became $50. It is sold out at all pharmacies.

This isn't a war, but it feels quite like we are under seige.

05 June 2013

My Lowest Point

The day Vera came home from the hospital, I fell sick with a bad bout of the flu.

Three days of high fever, which is rare for me, and a hacking cough that makes my diaphragm hurt. I perspire buckets non-stop. My nose cannot stop flowing.

When kids fall sick, the strain on caregivers increases. I think my body held out till they got better and then my system crashed.

I feel so weak and worn down. After one month of battling their illnesses, I end up having to fight my own.

It is too much to bear.

And what if they catch my lethal bug? What if VERA catches it? I am paranoid now, so paranoid. One month is all my body can handle. Please stop at me, please. Spare us.