A harsh title on purpose. Because that's how insensitive a comment from a particular doctor was.
We'd gone to see this doctor to understand if Vera's kidney function could be causing her hypertension.
It was a first visit and she had no background, so I started by saying that Vera was on active management and what's important is that her PDA had closed, her corneas are clearing, she's responding to therapy...and she interrupts by saying:
"What's important is that she will have low IQ. Dr X has gone through this with you so I don't have to explain further."
What??? I couldn't believe my ears. I was on the verge of giving her a piece of my mind, but decided it was not worth my effort. After all, you can tell a 'holier-than-thou' face when you see one and boy, did she have it.
So much for someone like her, who apparently has 'high' IQ. Pity, what poor EQ.
So little Vera, this is what you're up against in this world in the eyes of some people: You've low IQ and that's all that matters.
I've read horror stories about insensitive doctors of other T18 moms, so I guess everyone gets an experience like this.
Well, we know what really matters: Seeing Vera smile, seeing her grow, seeing her in the morning the next day.
The fact that she still exists, is important reason enough.
6 comments:
I love the last sentence on your post! That is what the drs. have an issue with. They want to be so right in quoting their statistics. Vera, Annabel and the others that are surviving are proving them wrong. I wonder if anyone has even measured their IQ! I have been upset all day yesterday because they have decided to treat Annabel for probable UTI infection. UTI are such easy diagnosis and she is now on oxygen most of the time. Why aren't we seeing why this drastic change has happened. Maybe because she is T18 and they just think she is lucky to be here. Our babies deserve the same medical treatment as all children. I am so glad Vera has you for her mommy, b/c you care and don't ever stop being her warrior. Sorry to vent, but I get so angry at drs. who aren't willing to learn and change their way of treating.
It broke my heart reading your comment & i m crying while writing this. It reminded me of my own experience. As "Baby Angel Rayvin" was only diagnosed with T18 after he was delivered, this is the 1st sentence from the paeds -"Your baby is NOT NORMAL". Then he started to describe all the characteristics as if all T18 babies & "Baby Angel Rayvin" are very ugly. "Baby Rayvin" turned out to be beautiful & almost perfect. Even most of the nurses commented that "Baby Rayvin" looks adorable.
Lots of love : Mummy Pauline & 'Baby Angel Rayvin - T18'
i wish i could say i was surprised that you received this type of treatment, but i'm not. i am sorry though. we have had our share of insensitive medical professionals just like everyone else - it doesn't ever get easier...it's sad though, because when we go to a new doctor i'm already on guard and defensive - which isn't how you want to be when you're trying to get the most/best information possible for your child....
maybe it would be better if doctors had to go to sparkle school like the disney employees do :)
We can't change them, so we change doctors. Yes, with some doctors you can sense that they have some protocol in the background for treating such cases: Either be very cautious and conservative or go all out and suggest the most unhelpful scans and tests that may probably benefit their data collection. Cathy, why are you upset they are treating Annabel's UTI? Is the oxygen not helpful?
You moms are absolutely rite.
We are our children's warrior. Press on!!!
I salute you all for that fighting spirit. I am sure your babies deserve nothing but the best... and that includes the best parents who love them the way they were perfectly made.
God bless!
I remember our first office visit with Mallorie's kidney doctor. She asked me something about developmental delays. I knew what she was asking, of course, but asked, "How would we know? She has a cleft lip and palate, so she is not eating or talking like most babies her age. She has spina bifida so she isn't crawling or sitting up." I went on like that, and told her it didn't seem fair to try to "label" her, when she had so many physical reasons for "delays," and added, "she's a baby. Seems unfair to not give her the time she needs to learn what she can do. So we don't know if she's delayed." She looked at the friend with me, and said, "I mean, intellectual delays." I wanted to tell her, I know what you meant. I just won't play your game. Why is it so important to label people?
By the way, some of her pictures remind me so much of my little girl; the adorable smile and chubby legs.
Post a Comment