18 July 2008

To Know or Not to Know?

Reading the views of T18 mothers on pre-natal diagnosis has led me to form my own opinion on this:

If I could do it all over again, would I have done an amnio and terminated my pregnancy upon learning of the diagnosis?

One year ago, the answer was yes. I had gone for the NT test to look for Downs. If that had been positive, I was prepared to terminate the pregnancy.

Today, my perspective has changed totally.

Thank goodness I wasn't "old" enough to be offered an amnio (Usually for women 35 & above).
Thank goodness I didn't have to find out about Vera's diagnosis prenatally.
Thank goodness I didn't have to be under pressure from whoever to terminate the pregnancy. Thank goodness I didn't have to live with 6 months of trauma, worry and uncertainty.

You see, from what Vera has shown us, I've learnt that even the most "hopeless" diagnosis does not give anyone the prerogative to pass a death sentence on life.

Life, once formed, must decide for itself how long it wishes to sustain itself.

Sometimes I think to myself, now wouldn't Vera be mightily upset and indignant if we had known prenatally and toyed with the idea of terminating the pregnancy?

"What? You doubt my fighting spirit?" she'd probably say. "I struggled to sustain on just one artery for nutrients in your umbilical cord while my peers have two, and managed to come out looking not too bad, don't you think?"

"Look at me, I'm still here. Luckily you did not pull the plug on me. Otherwise you would have really regretted not knowing a charming babe like me ha ha ha. (Of course, I know I can be quite a ruckus most of the time.)"

Bottom line is: So what if you know prenatally? Would you know whether it's really a lost cause? For sure?

Vera has spoken: No.

I'm glad she got the benefit of the doubt.