06 August 2008

Divorce Rates

According to literature on the subject, the divorce rate among couples with a disabled child is an alarming 75%.

I can imagine why.

The stress of coping with the demise of a lifelong dream of having a normal baby; the struggles of dealing with everyday challenges that come with the special needs of such children; the complete end to any semblance of a previous carefree life...they can all collide and cause conflict.

What of the other 25%? Their marriages change too, I believe. Becoming stronger, deeper, welded together by a common cause.

Whichever way it is, keeping it together is hard work. Which is why these days, I try my best not to sweat the small stuff.

Months ago, I'd flip if let's say Ian doesn't change Vera's diapers and the sheets get wet.

Now, I just let it go. So one person oversleeps and misses her feed, another packs the wrong size of diapers, or spills the milk, or forgets this or that...it's really not such a big deal. What matters is that both parties are doing their very best already.

Will my marriage belong to the 75% or 25%?

Vera has shown us she's beaten the odds 90% to 10% to be here today. We ought to follow in her footsteps.