A colleague asked me, "How was Vera's first day at school?" I was stumped. I didn't know. I wasn't there. Vera has already been at Rainbow Centre twice. She goes there twice a week, for two hours each time. Who are her classmates? Who are her teachers? How is she taking to the new environment? All the things a mother should know. It struck me that I may be missing out on what is probably the highlight of little Vera's life (don't we all remember how much school meant to us?), because of work.
This is the dilemma of every working mother, isn't it? Working to pay the bills versus spending time with your child. The worst (or best) part is, Vera is now SO responsive, and SO charming that I am actually falling in love with her. As she grows, she most definitely grows on me. Yet, I am not one who can take staying at home full-time. To work or not to work? Perhaps the ideal solution is part of both. How to achieve that kind of balanced arrangement is the big question!
10 comments:
I have been following yr blog and secretly admiring wat your husband and yourself have done for Vera....
As a working parent of 2 kids, I can empathise with the thoughts that are going on in your mind and also wat you are facing.
But as long as you are happy with what you are doing and that tis is the best for Vera, m sure you can be relieved. Wat is most important is you must be happy with your decision and the reasons on why you are working...its all to give the best to your child.
Mrs C
May, I can tell you that staying home is hard also. The day in day out routine sometimes becomes overwhelming and I long for more outside stimuli. This is even with Annabel going to school. It is the sick times, because our babies do get sick more than others due to low immune issues. I hope you find the balance, like maybe you said both. If she does well at school and is happy then she will get so much out of it. Annabel loves the social interaction and I find that the stimulation helps when she is home to be more relaxed. Because they don't walk, sit, talk etc. they don't get as tired as others. So sometimes it is hard for them to wind down. Annabel's best days when well are her school days. She just falls asleep so easy after being at school for the day. You will know if you see that this is good for her. Don't beat yourself up, some moms live at their kids school and those kids need to have time away from mom, also. I have been in both of these situations. My oldest is 27 and I need to still find a balance.
Found your blog through Annabel Grace's blog. Our first baby was stillborn at 37 weeks with Trisomy 18. We knew very early in the pregnancy of her diagnosis. I can see that you write for a living, I really enjoy your words. Do you live in Singapore? Blessings! Chelsea
i worked long hours for the first three years of kaiya's life. i felt so guilty all the time b/c i felt like all i did was wake her up in the morning and put her to bed at night. then, when she became school aged, i couldn't find someone to watch her while i worked. so i quit and went back to school. i can't say i've ever been full time at home, but i've been home a lot - and i'm glad i've gotten to spend all of this time with her. i also know that i would go nuts if it was all i did. like you said, the outside stimulation is much needed. what i always wonder is if men feel these same mixed emotions as we women do about working and staying home?
Also been secretly following your blog~! Seems a bit kiasu but I think Vera just reach or going to reach 1 yr old. I cant help to shout HAPPY 1 YEAR OLD! I feel so happy for u! So proud of u and ur parents!
cathy you're so right about school. it does tire Vera out in a good way.
guess what it's 12 midnight here and I'm still in the office!
Mei,
Do take care of your self, hope you rest more whenever you can..
And hope work be better on you too. Remember to take the supplements...
They helps to keep you strong for Vera...
Thanks Germaine, am taking them. do you know anything that is good for dry cough? I've been coughing for a month now. Chinese and Western meds both don't work.
Mei,
Did you took the Xeniji too? Try taking it if you haven. It is cold when you took it right out from the fridge, so always get ready a bit of luke warm water to wash it down your throat once you take it.
I was coughing for about 3 months when I was pregnant last year. Same like you I tried both western and chinese medicine but non can cure it.
It was after I started with Xeniji then I slowly recovered. Before that I was coughing non stop when the aircon or fan were on. You need to work on the food you take too. Strictly no chicken, ikan bilis or soup boiled with it, eggs, peanuts or char siew. Such stuff makes you cough harder. Trust me, I tried them all and I learnt my lesson the hard way. Soupy stuff with pork or slice fish is boring but is the best for dry cough. If you feel the itchy feeling of wanting to cough in office, apply a bit of vick inside your nose it will help to reduce the itchy feeling each time you breath. Is actually the respiration area in our airway down inside our throat that contracts when it feel cold that causes the dry coughing. Will you feel like coughing when you were out in the sun in the afternoon. Or mostly night time? The soupy stuff or luke warm water which is slighty warmer( not extremely hot) will help to open up the airway everytime you swallow mouthful of water. By keeping your neck warm helps to reduce this dry cough too. So zip up your sweater when your office is cold.
Hope you understand what I mean.Is actually not a real cough is the airway that is sick and you need to keep it warm till it recovers..
Text me if you need more info..
Lastly, don't worry about the supply of Xeniji it will be taken care of..
By the way, I am really happy for Vera, been counting down to 22nd for a long time.
Hope she have a wonderful birthday party today.Looking forward to your latest update about today's party..
Ger
Thanks Germaine, your advice better than the docs! will do the necessary.
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