19 September 2009


Last night, I dreamt that Vera's button came out.

We've been having a couple of days of inflammation around her button site, plus leaking that has started again. Both have been bugging me during the daytime.

So I'm not surprised it manifested in my sleep.

I was holding on to the top of the button and it simply came off. I stared into the stoma hole. And saw the lower mushroom-like part falling in two pieces into a dark bottomless pit.

I called the home care nurse. She told me she had a meeting later and I had to come immediately before it. I called Ian, the phone took ages to dial. I tried and tried and tried. Her next feed is coming up and we need to get it done like right now! I called my folks and they magically appeared from another room. What's the matter? they said. I broke down. Vera's button came off and we are still here! My knees buckled and I sat on the floor in tears.

I woke myself up saying that aloud. It was 9am. (Bad idea, sleeping in late.)

I wonder if other parents have such equipment-malfunction mares.