Deep Suctioning

Vera was hospitalised recently.

Why?

Mainly because I didn't know how to get the phlegm out from her throat. She refused to open her mouth.

I thought the nurses would have better luck.

Also, it's just easier to walk away and spare myself from hearing Vera kicking and crying, then return to comfort her when the job's done.

One time I watched: They struggled with her jaw-clenching too.

So I thought of a solution: Let her bite on a rubbery baby spoon like a spanner - it would leave a gap just wide enough for the catheter to go through.

Also, I realised that I would just have to learn this "deep suctioning" that the nurses do. We can't be spending good money admitting her just for "suctioning service" every time she has a bout of increased secretions.

In my life, I've had to do things I didn't like doing. Like go for piano exams, get a wisdom tooth pulled, drink ginseng. Yeah, trivial stuff right. Most of the time, I do stuff I like to do.

Now, I find myself doing something I absolutely find no pleasure in, up to 3 times a day. Seeing Vera look in fear at the catheter she's already learnt to recognise. Seeing her cough even before I start as she knows what is coming. Switching from 'mummy mode' to 'nurse mode' so that I can get the job done effectively.

After every session, I know I've helped Vera to breathe easier and feel less congested. It feels good to see all that yucky phlegm come out. But I am worn and weary from the effort.

It's not easy to work like a nurse when you feel as a mother.

Sigh. What we have to do to love a child.