15 January 2010

The Silence is Deafening

I'm having the flu at the worst possible time.

I can't go to the hospital, the air con worsens the flu, and for fear of passing the bug to Vera.

News reports state that there is a significant spike in the number of flu cases this season. A second wave of the H1N1 flu is also upon Singapore. More cases have been reported at the hospital Vera is at. Pregnant women, given their lowered immunity, are at greater risk.

It is frustrating to be quarantined at a time when I'm needed most. I'm hoping Vera can stay in PICU till I get well. I'll need to be there when she's transferred to the normal ward.

Resting at home, I'm faced with the stark difference of not having Vera around. As Beth quietly goes about her chores, I can hear every sound amplified. The whirring of the fan, the running tap, the tippety-tap of typing on my laptop. The silence is deafening.

There is also little to do. I can only sleep so much. I go through Vera's photos. Watch her videos. Do some yoga stretches. Listen to my Hypnobirthing CD.

Today Beth said, "I miss Vera,"

So do I.