27 September 2009

News To Share

I've been holding this off for some time now - 3 months actually, but am now more comfortable to share the news.

Vera is going to get a little brother or sister.

I am now 13 weeks pregnant, just into my 2nd trimester.

To be honest, we hadn't planned for another baby anytime soon. But as I have come to realise, things to do with life are often times not up to us mere humans to control or decide upon.

While many are over the moon when they learn that they are pregnant, I am all too aware of what could possibly go wrong. Like it or not, having a previous 'scary' pregnancy diagnosis changes things quite a bit. The mind functions on past experience, and the experience leading up to Vera's birth had been fraught with anxiety and uncertainty.

Unknown to many of you as well, is the 8-week miscarriage that I had beginning of this year. Often, fetuses spontaneously abort because of abnormalities that render it incompatible with life.

So it is with tempered joy that I approach this pregnancy. What mother wouldn't want to be overjoyed? I try to be, but it is hard. Instead, I have adopted a quiet optimism.

This baby has already made it past the first trimester where miscarriages usually happen. It's past 12 weeks. It wants to live. It's a good sign. I tell myself.

The extreme fatigue, grumpiness, nausea, and hunger pangs of the 1st three months have also subsided. So these days, I'm in better spirits and less tired. Plus, my helper has come at the right time to help me with Vera's care. Things are looking up.

Given the history, I will be undergoing an amniocentesis sometime next month. We would know if there are any chromosomal abnormalities.

We would also know if Vera will get a baby brother or sister.