I don't envy surgeons.
When parents of a Trisomy 18 kiddo come to you and say, 'Please help my baby', what do you do?
Tell them 'erm...the risks are very high, you may lose her on the table, even if we operate and she survives, she won't last very long so what's the point. Plus she will continue to be high-need and low functioning.'
Or do you say 'ok, if this is the problem, this is what has to be done. The risks are very high, and you must be prepared to lose her, but we'll do whatever we can. I can't tell you if she will make it, that's up to her. If she does, potentially it could give her a few more months or years.'
I guess the difference lies in where the surgeon stands on the concept of Futility and Hope.
Both lie on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Where does one end and the other begin?
Are surgeons in a position to decide?
If the risks are too high are they still worth taking, to buy time for love?
How do they reconcile with failed attempts? Do they 'just move on' or break down and cry too?
Such a heavy responsibility - holding the fate of someone's child in your hands.
1 comments:
We had that issue here in the US. The amount of times Doctors and nurses told me I was "selfish" to carry her to term only to have her die. They wanted me to terminate my pregnancy on more then one occasion. Trying to "SELL" me on the idea that it was a better choice all around.
After Anabelle was born. She was in the NICU. Her outcome though not good, she did not require much more then help with a breathing machine on some days and love. The doctor that took care of her all about written her off as a baby that "wasn't worth saving"
Luckily for me I was strong enough to tell them, "I thought your oath as a doctor says "at first do no harm"" He wasn't the greatest person in the world and in the end when she left the hospital free from wires and tubes, I pray that his soul opening up to miracles a little bit more that day.
Doctors don't always know the answers. I learned that the hard way. I might not always be right, but at least I gave it my all and fought what I believe in.
Kiley
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