I can tell how society views children like Vera just by bringing her to the playground.
Some kids can be mean.
A 5-year-old boy comes right up and laughs in her face.
"No laughing," I chided him defensively. "If you want to laugh, don't come near here."
He does the same to another special needs boy with cross-eyes, about his age, who also happened to be at the playground.
Two other bigger children, both sisters, come up to Vera and said, "She looks so special". Seeing that they were friendly, I proceeded to tell them about the miracles and obstacles Vera had overcome.
They were filled with awe.
One of them asked their mother to come see.
The mother took one look at Vera and said, "Aiyoh, why like that?" Then hurried her girls along.
Her daughter looked at me and said, "Sorry, auntie."
The girl actually apologised to me on her mother's behalf.
We may be a so-called first-world economy, but alas, no way are we near first-world standards in our attitudes towards those who are different from the norm.
Where I live, some people hurry into lifts and close the doors like they are hitting the panic button. They don't have time to wait for others.
Able-bodied people jostle for the lift with those in prams and wheelchairs, instead of taking the stairs.
It saddens me sometimes.
10 June 2011
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4 comments:
As long as our children are on special chairs/buggies we will still have to jostle with abled people. I feel sad for that mother who knows nothing about what compassion is. I'm glad her daughter is more sensitive to other people's needs. We get this all the time. Most of the time we have to grin and bear it. But you are great asking the little boy not to laugh at Vera. Our children may not react quickly, but they know. Lets hope for less of these type of encounters.
It's sad to see how insensitive some people can get. Dont let this affect you, it's those people who (lacks empahty and compassion) shd feel ashamed of themselves.
Patricia (From MummgSG forum)
I have been following your blog for a while and love watching Vera learn and grow. I always take a special interest in kiddos with special needs, even though I love all children. I work with children and teens with autism and have Asperger's Syndrome myself and it always annoys me when people in public places give rude stares or make comments. At my university graduation, I was physically awkward and nervous walking across the stage (sensory and balance issues) and when I sat down, a person behind me had to remark "I'm surprised she got a real degree." Children like Vera are trying to the best of their ability to learn and develop and need encouragement, not scorn. I wonder why it is completely unnacceptable to make racial remarks, yet it is appropriate to make comments about people with disabilities. Even if Vera does not understand the rude words and show obvious distress over the comments, she likely can pick up on the unfriendly body lanaguage and tone of voice used by those people.
Hi I chanced upon your blog today. Was spending the past one hours reading your posts and more about Vera. This is the first time I heard about Tri 18. I am really encouraged by your sharings and your journey with Vera. Keep on posting.
I totally agree with you that here in Singapore, people are not so friendly to special children. It is firstly the parents who should teach their kids to respect others from young and also to lead their kids by example.
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