Launching An Original Song Soon

During the music video shoot for Love Is Not Rare song. Photo by Isabelle Lim

When you reach mid-life and have not yet done that thing that is your passion, that thing that is such a big part of who you are from the start, you can resort to unexpected measures.

Like quitting a really good job with great bosses, great colleagues at a good company. 

Double hospitalisations of the kids last year triggered the move. Against all logic, I felt I needed to take a career break. I'd been juggling work and Vera's hospitalisations, keeping both balls in the air for the last 6 years. 

I knew what I was going to do. Get my songs out. Starting with the ones inspired by Vera's journey. But I wanted to release them in a meaningful way. Using them to raise awareness for some cause. Because a song is bigger than its songwriter.

I decided to start with Love Is Not Rare. I had been inspired by Vera and some parents and children I'd got to know through Rare Disorders Society Singapore. 'Love Is Not Rare' is their tagline. I was touched by what they were doing for their medically fragile child at home - far more intensive care than what I had to perform for Vera.

Great team on the job - checking out the shots with Shane and Brandon of Back Button Media. Photo by Isabelle Lim

Through Kenneth, the Executive Director of the society, I got to know Patrick Chng, who heartily agreed to help arrange and produce the song. Then through a parent in RDSS, we got to know a video production company we wanted to work with. And dear cousin Isabelle offered to help me with all the photography needed. Even not being able to hear the singing and music cues does not stop her from shooting a music video. 

Cousin Isabelle doing what she does best - capturing the best moments.

Aunt Jacqueline with her infectious cheer trying to get me to relax...I'm too tense!

And so the heavens heard and things fell into place. 

This song isn't just about myself and Vera. It's about the journey that all caregivers of medically fragile children live through, on a daily basis. It is about a love that is filled with simple joys, but also hurdles, heartache and pain. 

8 months this project has taken to fruition. I'm so thankful for all the people who made it possible, and the support from Ian that allows me to realise this passion project while he holds up the fort. And to my parents who step in to help out whenever I ask. 

Am looking forward to sharing the music video soon. 

I Have To Be Her Voice

It's not funny to wake up when half your life is gone, and realise what you really need to be doing.

And what I want to do, is share the songs Vera's life has inspired me to write. They are borne from 10 years of being on this journey with her and all the people who have come into our lives because of her.

While it is very heartening to see lots of effort being made to celebrate the sporting and artistic abilities of persons with disabilities, what about the severely disabled? Those like Vera who can't talk, can't understand what we're saying, and really can't do very much besides lie there?

There is purpose to their life too.

They are here to let us stare weakness and imperfection in the face and understand them intimately. To give us a chance to see that true beauty lies within imperfection, that true strength comes from weakness.

All these years, Vera has helped me to heal, through the painful yet cathartic process of songwriting.

Two years ago, she pulled back from the brink. She wasn't done yet. She's inspired 2 more songs since then.

I have to be her voice.

Let's Take Part Anyway

I never dream that I'd be able to take Vera out on a boat. So when I checked out the Inclusive Sports Festival and realised that they were having a sailing tryout in an indoor swimming pool, I jumped at the chance.

It'll be stable enough, safe enough for her. No choppy seas or strong winds.

The festival was to expose more abled special needs individuals to different competitive sports and hopefully get them interested to take them on. It was also a good chance for the public to experience various disability sports. But best of all, it gave Vera the once in a lifetime chance to safely 'sail' in a boat.

It wasn't easy to haul her out of the boat, and she got a little scared at the end, but I'm glad we did it.

Over at the land sports, Vera tried throwing the ball. Yes she is unable to aim and see where the ball is even going. But she got a kick out of throwing the ball with my help. I know what some of the volunteers were thinking 'This girl can't even aim or look at where the ball lands, yet her mother is still letting her throw." They smiled tentatively at me.

When you have a child like Vera, you "Do It Anyway". When you have a child like Vera, it isn't about the aim of the game, but about getting her to try. When you have a child like Vera, it's all about the journey, not the destination.

It's a mentality I learnt from many good special needs teachers, who continue to communicate with and teach students with very low ability and response. They have my utmost respect.

Come Vera, let's game on!